the fuck am I drinking?
….also, a lady to sit on my face/be my crown.
I mean shit, I’m not that super ugly that if I asked a lady if she’d like to do such that she’d reject me so forthright. Yes, I’m super disheveled, but still please sit on my face/be my crown.
These are currently my top two fantasies (in no particular order):
- Quitting my job by just saying, “I quit.”
- Licking an entire bottle (750mL) of Woodford Reserve off of an attractive young lady (with approximately 500mL off her tummy.)
Yeah, so I went the NYC beirgarten route. A male (Polish/German) coworker told me that he wanted to hang out with me a lot more in a non gay way and then he kissed me during karoke that I was getting REALLY into. Not gonna lie, I’d totally have a threeway with him and his wife (who got married in Vegas a few months back.) I ate a pork knuckle. It was yum. I think someone threw shit at me from another table. I told them “Bro, calm down.” I am on a bus right now. What the dick is going on?
Business trip. Had a couple drinks with dinner of porterhouse steak. Got back to room. Thought it was a good idea to go for a swim. Jumped in. Swam 10 feet. Got out. Went to the front desk. Asked for mouthwash.
Related — yesterday I had lunch with three German coworkers, all spent the majority of their lives in Germany, all aged late 20s to mid 30s, and I mentioned Rainer Werner Fassbinder. The sole response I got was, “You mean the actor?”
Admittedly, I’m a Fassbinder novice, but no, I’m not talking about Michael F. Assbender aka The Fassmember aka The Human Tripod. Also, I’m winning this weight loss competition, beating these Europeans, what kind of U.S.American am I? (fyi, I’m an ethnic mutt, with the majority being tied 25% each per Italian & Syrian, and no, I do not support a strike on Syria.)
Also related — as great as I find Shame, it’s message of “sex addiction is so bad it’ll make you gay!” is kinda… offensive?