“After I saw Black Swan, I figured no one could top Natalie Portman’s performance. Then No Strings Attached came out, and I finally saw Winter’s Bone, and the combination Portman being in a film with Ashton Kutcher and Jennifer Lawrence being a complete badass is more enough for me to root for Lawrence.”—
Whenever I think that Buffy would have ended best with season five’s “The Gift” I remember “Once More, with Feeling” and how it’s one of the greatest episodes of television, well, ever, so I forget that initial thought.
A couple weeks ago I fell asleep with this song on repeat while I had my earphones in and ended up singing this song the entire goddamn day. Not that it’s such a big problem. Personally, it was my favorite complete song in the episode.
The moment that stole the show and my favorite, was easily’s Anya’s “Bunnies” portion of “I’ve Got a Feeling.” Only 30 seconds or so, but the most memorable part of the episode. It also helped that Anya was my biggest girl crush on the show. (I find honesty sexy. Additionally, her face, body and voice.) Also memorable, her tiny two pieced nightie in her duet with Xander for “I’ll Never Tell.” Me-OW!
I know everyone loves Xander for being the everyman and the heart blah blah blah, but fuck that, Xander was an asshole. He never gave Willow a chance unless it was cheating on Cordy and then he left Anya at the altar? In addition to that shitfuckery, he was super hostile toward any guy who had a thing for Buffy, sure Angel is Captain Forehead and Riley was awful, but you do not fuck with Spike. Fuck YOU buddy.
And Willow, i felt so bad for you want Xander so badly, and then he was such a bag of dicks to you. Sure, i kinda hated you in “I Robot, You Jane” but that was the worst episode ever so that’s OK. What I can’t forgive is the lazy writing of MAGIC = DRUGZ of season 6 and Dark Willow. Sorry, couldn’t buhlee dat. Honestly, my favorite thing about Alyson Hannigan is the fact that she’s married to Alexis Denisof (Wesley) in real life. Also, I hated how she got over Tara’s death so quickly and got with Kennedy (ugh, holy shit I absolutley HATED those fucking potentials in season seven.)
And Tara. My number two girl crush on the show. Sure, I’d never have a chance with her being a lesbian and all, but god, i don’t even know what to say here. Ok, she was introduced during “Hush” (One of the best episodes during the entire series) and I slowly fell in love with her over season 5 (Got fucking heartbroken during “Family” (but yayed when Spike punched her, FOR GOOD REASON YOU FEMINIST CUNTS. It was to prove that she was all human, no demon. Hell, as a HUGE Spike fan, my only two moments where i don’t like him so much are the rape attempt of Buffy and when he punched Anya in the face.) and when Glory turned her brain to mush for the last few episodes.) And Holy shit, her singing voice in “Once more, with Feeling”? Where thr Hell did that come from? total shocker. GORGEOUS singing voice. Shame about her death though. Really sad. Miss you.
And why the fuck not, Dawn. God, you were worthless. “GETOUTGETOUTGETOUT.” Yesh, that was terrible, but shit, Tractenberg, you look good. Your dancing with sweet in “Once more, with Feeling”? Seductive as fuckeven if you were only 16-17. You’re a year older than I so, it’s OK.
Hmm, didn;t mention Buffy or giles. Ok, Buffy you were all right except for thar shit epidoesw where you did nothing but fuck Riley and all those godawful season 7 speeches. Giles, you were pretty sweet until you turned into a guest star at season 6. You never really changed too mcuh which kinda sucked.
Eh, I kinda liked Angel better as a series, nothing to do with angel, but Wesely’s turn from Rogyue Demon huntr dork ()”What’s a rougue demon?”( into Dark Wesley, is just the greatest thing televiosn has to offer. also, I’m pretty sure my Fred crush was bigger than that of Anya. I’m wear her like a baseball cap too. And i doubt it’d be difficult either because she weighted like 80 lbs.
This post had been sponsodered by Woodford Reserve and Industiral Quality Control.
For some reason or another I have never done recreational drugs. The only exceptions being the bottles of Oxycodone from my wisdom teeth extraction and Hydrocodone from my Dad’s wisdom tooth extraction. You think I’d at least be on anti-depressants with the side effect to cause my eventual suicide, but nope.
I just stick with whiskey and music.
You thought Pink Floyd was trippy? Man, forget that shit, Gong will get you HIGH. Camembert Electrique has got to be the greatest psycho/psychedelic ever, even if it only came out in 1971 rather than the LSD year of 1967. Hell, a broad even says “Fuck” a bunch of times with implications of raping you (“Dynamite: I Am Your Animal”). How’s that for being revolutionary?
Wasted and wounded, it ain’t what the moon did, I’ve got what I paid for now See you tomorrow, hey Frank, can I borrow a couple of bucks from you To go waltzing Mathilda, waltzing Mathilda, You’ll go waltzing Mathilda with me
I’m an innocent victim of a blinded alley And I’m tired of all these soldiers here No one speaks English, and everything’s broken, and my Stacys are soaking wet To go waltzing Mathilda, waltzing Mathilda, You’ll go waltzing Mathilda with me
Now the dogs are barking and the taxi cab’s parking A lot they can do for me I begged you to stab me, you tore my shirt open, And I’m down on my knees tonight Old Bushmill’s I staggered, you’d bury the dagger In your silhouette window light go To go waltzing Mathilda, waltzing Mathilda, You’ll go waltzing Mathilda with me
Now I lost my Saint Christopher now that I’ve kissed her And the one-armed bandit knows And the maverick Chinamen, and the cold-blooded signs, And the girls down by the strip-tease shows, go Waltzing Mathilda, waltzing Mathilda, You’ll go waltzing Mathilda with me
No, I don’t want your sympathy, the fugitives say That the streets aren’t for dreaming now And manslaughter dragnets and the ghosts that sell memories, They want a piece of the action anyhow Go waltzing Mathilda, waltzing Mathilda, You’ll go waltzing Mathilda with me
And you can ask any sailor, and the keys from the jailor, And the old men in wheelchairs know And Mathilda’s the defendant, she killed about a hundred, And she follows wherever you may go Waltzing Mathilda, waltzing Mathilda, You’ll go waltzing Mathilda with me
And it’s a battered old suitcase to a hotel someplace, And a wound that will never heal No prima donna, the perfume is on an Old shirt that is stained with blood and whiskey And goodnight to the street sweepers, the night watchmen flame keepers And goodnight to Mathilda, too
Standing waiting for a man to show Wide eyed one eye fixed on the door This waiting’s killing me, it’s wearing me down Day in day out, my feet are burning holes in the ground
Darkness warmer than a bedroom floor Want someone to hold me close forever more I’m a sleeping dog, but you can’t tell When I’m on the prowl you’d better run like hell You know it makes sense, don’t even think about it Life and death are just things you do when you’re bored Say fear’s a man’s best friend You add it up it brings you down
Home is living like a man on the run Trails leading nowhere, where to my son? We’re already dead, just not yet in the ground Take my helping hand I’ll show you around You know it makes sense, don’t even think about it Life and death are just things you do when you’re bored Say fear’s a man’s best friend You add it up it brings you down
Around 2am a friend told me he lost his cell phone and wallet, so i told him that I’d turn into Phillip Marlowe or Sam Spade and find them for him. Aftwer retracing his footsteps over a part of the town i said “fuck it” and then got my car and drove back to the bar we were last at because I felt I had sobered up. i told him I couldn’t find either, but I was pretty sure where it must have been. Then him and my other friend left while i was smoking shitload of cigarillos and giving them away with ease. I gave these other guys rides home becuase I was sober, and all the smoking had changed my breath from whiskey to a tobacco smell and everything was all right.
Last night was good too. i went to a little joint called Stilleto. I get in with my friend and a girl comes right up to us and starts talking as we take a seat. I talk lightly, without looking at her as I don’t care too much. Then I take a look as she asked for a good time. Pale skin, lots of freckles, long dark hair, tiny waist, but plentiful hips, small round butt, soft tiny tummy with a big unique outie bellybutton, natural small perky boobies and she’s got a really fucking cute voice. I really don’t remember the face too well and that’s a shame, but it’s love at first sight. Her name is Aliana, if my brain is still functioning correctly. We have a dance, and then another after which she walks me back to my original seat.